Mining “trends” exposed as Risky, Costly, and Violent

If you are the world’s largest manufacturer of mining equipment with 70 Billion dollars in asset, its hard to g
ive up your cash. When those annoying workers aren’t willing to take a 50% pay cut, why not unleash a furry friend? This fashionable construction orange caterpillar loves the taste of jobs and money. Caterpillar makes a great pet, ask Stephen Harper, who gave the company a 5 million dollar federal tax break  a couple of years ago!

Pirate

If you are Canadian company exec, you know that its hard to make colonialism look cool. Why not celebrate your true colours in Pirate gear? Loot for gold, engage in criminal activity, and generally of course, explore and operate without consent. In KI territory, God’s Lake is looking to hire security to remove community protesters from defending their land. In 2008, 6 community leaders were jailed for protesting another junior company and eventually, the government had to pay 5 million dollars for the company to leave. We can only hope the government will listen to the community and stop God’s Lake from another pirating failure.

Pacific Rim Pacifier

For companies like Pacific Rim, you can always try the cry baby throwing a tantrum approach. After El Salvador declared a national moratorium on mining that suspended Pacific  Rim’s operations, the company attempted to sue the country for 77 million dollars. In order to be able to try the country under free trade agreements, pacific rim quickly established a subsidiary in the United States where no offices had currently existed. Very edgy.

Corporate social recklessness

Did you know that 79 tons of mine waste are produced for every ounce of gold? In the western highlands of Guatemala, Gold Corp’s marlin mine has cracked houses, affected locals quality of and access to water. Whole villages have been displaced to make room for tailing lakes – mine-created ponds of waste water and locals worry that their crops and very livelihood will be forever affected. Costly and destructive, this bulldozer head helps you get straight to business wreaking havoc on a community. Just don’t forget to call it development!

Commander in Chief

Are you seeking to invest in a politically unstable country? Well, don’t let local community outrage or problematic insurgent groups get in your way of making the cartons of cash you crave! With this new military style, you will be sure to mix in with the local militia and militarized business elite alike! Paying off local armed militia groups or state army troops to protect your infrastructure and money-making machine can be done in stylish and seasonal colours and prints – the locals won’t be able to distinguish you from the death squads!  Like in Colombia, where oil pipeline protection received $98 million for training state-troops and their collaborative paramilitary squads, the difference between the camoflage greens of the military, the olive greens of the paramilitary, and the seasonal greedy green of the pipeline execs, was barely differentiable!

PR filter

If you’re a mining company spokesperson, there are lots of incidences of violence, environmental contamination or bigoted comments by company officials that you have to try your best to sweep under the rug. Thanks to this spring line’s PR filter, preserving your reputation despite horrible mining abuses just got easier. Next time Peter Munk dismisses gang rape by security forces at Barrick’s porgera mine in Papa New Guinea as a “cultural habit” or watchdog organizations report the burning down of 100s of residents’ houses, use the PR filter to turn that problematic stuff into meaningless statements touting corporate values. Its that easy! 

Northern Gateway Hypeline

About 4, 500 people have signed up for community consultations about the Northern Gateway Pipeline and more than 60 First Nations communities throughout British Colombia have spoken out against it. This Enbridge project would export bitumen to the US and Asia across the ocean. Since 1999, this company has been responsible for 804 spills – releasing 168,645 barrels of hydrocarbons into the environment.